Keep the House So It Doesn’t Keep You

Three encouragements from this mess

Photo by Rick Mason on Unsplash

As any of my past roommates could tell you, I am a dreadful housekeeper. I let dishes and laundry pile up. I rarely sweep and mop. I have too much stuff, and not everything has a place. It’s a problem.

I hoped this would change when I got married and we got a house and had a baby. Spoiler: It didn’t.

I am the same terrible housekeeper I was three years ago. Maybe worse Now, I have two more humans and four cats making messes of their own in the space we all share.

(To be fair, the baby’s messes are small and mostly consist of diapers and laundry, and my husband is great at dishes and laundry.)

I want to be a better housekeeper. I’ve just let the situation get a little out of hand so that now it’s overwhelming even to begin.

But begin we must.

So here are my three encouragements when it comes to getting your house up to tidy snuff.

You don’t have to do everything all at once.

This is the most important encouragement.

If you’re anything like me when it comes to keeping tidy, your to-do list is a mile long. It’s not that any of these tasks is particularly difficult on its own but rather that all of them together seem insurmountable.

So instead of picking one, you sit on the couch and watch an episode of Bones you could probably recite and prioritize the list of things and get overwhelmed again, and four hours later, you’ve sunk deep into the couch and have to force yourself to get up to go to the bathroom where you’re reminded of all the cleaning you have to do.

(That’s not just me, right?)

It’s ok! You don’t have to do the whole list today. Just pick one.

One task. One room. One anything.

Do that thing. Pat yourself on the back for doing that one thing. Then, if you’re up to it, do another thing.

What generally happens to me at this point is that I get into a groove and my energy spikes so I do several things in a row. Then I rest because rest is important. The other tasks will wait.

If you take nothing else from this piece, remember this: You don’t have to do all the things all at once.

Your things don’t have to run the show.

When my husband and I were first married, we lived in a one-bedroom apartment with our three cats. Now, we have a two-bedroom house, one more cat, and a baby. Somehow, in the space of a year, we managed to fill this house just as we filled the apartment. Mainly, it’s books, baby things, and Lego projects (fully assembled and on display).

We have purchased more shelving on which to keep our things, more hangers for our clothes, more storage bins for the things we don’t need all the time. More. More. More.

There is another solution: Have less.

Give things away. Throw out the trash. Repurpose to usefulness. Buy less in the first place.

Your things are (mostly) just things. I am prone to sentimental attachment and cling to things long after it’s time to let them go, but I’d advise you against that habit.

If you are overwhelmed by the volume of stuff in your living space, you have some options. You can reorganize to optimize the space. You can get rid of things. You can pack things away in bins and put them in storage.

(Note: That last option only delays dealing with the things. If you put it off long enough, you can leave the job to your heirs, but do you really want to do that?)

Personally, I’m taking the organize better, buy less, and get rid of things strategies. It’s a process, but it’s one that I think will work in the long run, even though my husband will keep buying Legos. There’s really no stopping him.

You don’t have to do it alone.

If you share your space with other people who can help, keep the house together with them. Maybe that means chore charts or regular house/family meetings. Maybe it’s a weekly check-in on the state of the house. Maybe it’s simply hoping they’ll be bothered enough by mess that they’ll pick up after themselves now and then. Whatever works for you, make the most of the skills and energy of everyone in the house.

If you live alone or with people who can’t help keep the house (like my two-month-old), reach out to a neighbor or friend or, if you have the resources, book a cleaning service, even if it’s every now and then to help you stay ahead of the dust.

A final thought

Let yourself breathe. You can do this. Your living space is for living. It may sometimes be a mess. It may be in perpetual disarray. It may be spotless now and then or even more often than that. Whatever it is, let yourself rest in that present state. Then, if you want it to change and you have the power to change it, have at it.

Otherwise, sink into the couch, watch another episode of Bones, and call it a day.

For occasional ramblings about pregnancy, parenting, and life in general, follow me here on Medium. For cat and craft pictures, follow me on Instagram.