The Nursery Is a Mess and That’s Okay
There is a room in our house that we are calling the nursery. It has a crib and a dresser full of baby clothes and baskets full of baby toys and a changing table and a mountain of diapers and wipes. It is cluttered with the things that people have given us to make life comfortable for the baby who will join our family soon. A swing, an extra bassinet, a kind of chair, abundant blankets . . . all of those sorts of things.
This room used to be a catch-all room, and it still is. Tucked away in the closet are dozens of puzzles and craft things and the family files and wrapping paper/gift bags/ribbon and a suitcase full of costumes that don’t fit me right now. Against one wall is a bookshelf stuffed to the gills with Grace Livingston Hill novels (a bridal shower gift that I’m slowly reading through). Against another are more bookcases, one with more of my books and another with the baby’s books. There’s more, but you get the idea.
The room is messy. It serves multiple purposes. Half of it is eagerly awaiting a baby, and the other half is all me. Even my dresser is in there, not that I can wear any of the clothes in it right now. My bump exceeds their stretch.
Across the hall is the room my husband and I share. It is sparse. Our bed, his dresser, a family heirloom hope chest filled with mementos from my childhood. Some clutter, to be sure, but not nearly on a level with the nursery.
On a wall, I have made a place for the early weeks and months of life with baby. It is simple. A bassinet and a cozy chair — a glider. It is a restful place. In the glider, I can set a hand on the bassinet and rock it along with me. I can see into the bassinet. I will be able to watch her sleep right from the chair.
The nursery feels like such a luxury. It is so full of extras. Hand-me-down clothes from cousins and friends and so many new things gifted us from dozens of kind people, near and far. Part of me is ready to start giving things away already, but I’m resisting because there’s so much I don’t know. How big will she be? Will she need to wear that? Is that ever going to fit? Will there be enough days for clothes this size? What do we really need?
When people ask me that last question, I have a stock answer: we’re good on the basics. We have a way to get her home, a place for her to sleep, something for her to eat, and clothes for her to wear. Beyond that, we don’t really know. We’ve never done this before.
So the nursery is a mess because people have been so generous and because we haven’t found a home for everything yet. And also because for a while, we’ll be hanging out in our little bedroom nook, learning to be a family of three (seven if you count the cats). And okay, because I’m a bit of a hoarder and have trouble parting with things because what if I need them for a project someday?!
I’m working on that last bit. It’s a process. My sentimentality doesn’t help any. Knowing that one day my daughter will probably not want to share her room with the stuff of her mother’s hobbies does help, but it doesn’t make any more space in the house. It’s a journey we can take together as she discovers her own hobbies and maybe uses some of these craft supplies that have already made a home in her room.
So the nursery will be what it is. It will go through tidy times and tumultuous times. The carpet will attract new stains. The clothes and toys will come and go. The kiddo who lives there will grow and acquire things of her own choosing. Maybe she’ll be meticulously neat and organized. Maybe she’ll be as messy as her parents often are. Whoever she is, the room will be hers. It will become what she needs it to be as she evolves as a person and learns what interests her and how her space can nurture her.
The nursery is bursting with potential, just like this baby who has yet to be born. It’s okay if it’s a little messy. I hear babies are, too.
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